When we went home, we tried tummy time ...Adam was now 8+ months old, this is vital development time!!!! However, we couldn't do it because the pressure on his stomach would cause reflux and we didn't want that.

So ….we were recommended an in-home occupational therapist. This was a huge pill for me to swallow. As a teacher I assure my student's parents that therapy is a good thing and it will only help!
...But I couldn't take my own advice. I couldn't admit that Adam was behind at something, and needed help. We did though, and I am glad that we did. Because it pushed me to keep pushing him, more than I would have. Instead of just staying "oh he'll catch up" we both worked so that he did, and he did so very quickly and very well.

The point is…

Adam barely crawled. He was stuck on his back from month 5-8 for the reasons above. He missed out on vital developmental practices. While most kids are doing tummy time, we're keeping him in one spot so he's at his healthiest for lifesaving surgery.

People don't know that.
So when they ask me "hows tummy time?" Or "when did Adam start crawling"
He didn't. We worked for weeks with an OT to get him crawling and redevelop those muscles and skills. ​

​Mom's put pressure on each other and it's damaging!
Each baby will reach these milestones in their own time.
Just because Karen over there is feeding her kid bananas with the peel on as part of her BLW practice, doesn't mean that Susan is in the wrong for cutting her kid's banana into smaller pieces.

The fact of the matter is, both kids are eating. So Karen needs to keep her opinion and her self righteous feeding regime to herself.

If you're feeling pressure or stress about any of these things, please reach out to us. We promise you that we will be nothing but motivating and supportive. We've guided a lot of friends through these stages - comparison is the last thing you need to stress about. We've got you.

Most of the time spent at a hospital, is time that you do not want to spend at a hospital.
​In fact, 100% of the time there, I could think of a million other places that I'd rather be. 

However, aside from the obvious moments of when your son's surgeon comes out after a successful procedure, or finding out your baby's esophagus grew a miraculous, unexplainable amount in a matter of weeks... there are still moments, and people that are worth remembering, and looking back on and smiling, 

​These are our moments...

Our biggest moment, living in the hospital, was the very first time we were able to take Adam out of his room - the obs room. He needed constant observation, so we didn't even have a private room the majority of our stay. He also needed constant suction through his replogle to clear his secretions or he would choke. So he was always attached to the suction in the wall. 

We were however able to take mobile suction units and go for walks, or hang out on the hallway of our floor - with a nurse at first, and then without one (as long as we stayed on the floor). 

The first time we got to do this, was amazing. Seeing Adam see daylight for the first time, looking out the big windows, seeing the sun and the clouds, the cars and the people. It was amazing, 

It taught us that we should never take anything for granted, and to appreciate the little things, for they are big things. These moments, so simple, that everyone overlooks, were so monumental and big for us. A lesson that we will always remember, and often to this day still reflect upon. 

Another moment that deserves mention, is many moments put into one. My two aunts would travel hours to come and visit Adam and I once a week, every single week, without fail, no matter the weather. They would bring lunch and just sit and visit, and chat. I'd cry, they'd force me to eat. They helped me survive. I am forever grateful and thankful for them.

My Cousin worked down the road, and he too would visit weekly. It got to the point where he knew my pumping schedule and would grab me a cookie and a coffee, and come up when I was done to spend some time with me and Adam. Often sweating in his suit, he'd stay and visit. It was an easy decision for us to make him and his Fiancee Adam's Godparents.

In this picture is that cousin and his fiancee (Adam's Godparents), his parents (my Godparents) and brother, as well as my parents and my brother. These are our people. This is what family looks like. The people who are there for you no matter what, no matter when. The people who show up the morning after you give birth, who wait outside the hospital during surgery and procedures. Who make you fresh sandwiches and drive them down on a Wednesday in the rain. Who take five different public transit vehicles to visit you. Who drag you out to eat and get you drunk on an entire pitcher of sangria, leaving you with the nurses who think it's hilarious and well deserved. 

This is our home team. We'd get together monthly, usually on the 13th (Adam was born on the 13th of April) and we would go to dinner, to celebrate another month down, another month closer to home.

These are the people in our happy memories. The people who made our time there bearable, survivable. 
My other two aunts deserve the biggest mention in the world as well, because they visited more than anyone else, and I can never ever thank them enough. Our family is what got us through.

​I think of happy memories at the hospital, and I think of these people and these moments.

Kayla mentioned, there is nothing more important than a support system when you’re living in a hospital. Like Kayla my family was a huge support system for me but so with the family in the bedside next to us.

As I mentioned earlier, I became very close with the mom beside me in the NICU with Theo. Stephanie has been such an inspiration to me and a huge support in my life over the last 4 1/2 years. She always knows what to say, can make a joke even in the most difficult situations, and has the kindest heart. There were so many dark days in the NICU but there were also some positive memories. Here is a picture of one of our nurses holding our babies together. This was such a special moment for us because despite being so physically close together, we had never been side-by-side with our babies. It was so wonderful to have our babies side-by-side as it allowed us to do what so many new moms do together - take a picture of their babies side-by-side. Every time I see this picture I tear up and remember that magical moment.

​Lastly one of my favorite memories of when Theo was in the hospital was the FIRST time I got to walk with him! Despite still being hooked up to many tubes and wires, with the help of our nurse, we carefully placed him in a baby carrier and I was able to stroll around the hospital and GO OUTSIDE - this was a HUGE sept for me as it allow me to really feel like a mom <3